I read today the difficult experience of one step-mom who said it is impossible to be and feel like a 'real mom'. Impossible to have that happy nuclear family experience as a step-parent. Doubtless so many step-moms really struggle with these feelings, like I have.
But do we not have a choice in the matter? Every day, the Lord gives us a choice- life or death. So simple. Jesus says "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life", and in Him we can have the fruit of that life: love, joy, peace, patience... its a choice made possible by the Spirit that lives in us. We choose to accept love and cast out fear. We choose joy, despite our circumstances. And with great reason, because we have life forever with the One who loves more deeply, more honestly, more beautifully than anyone or anything we can imagine! O, how He loves us!
I choose to be a loving, engaged, hopeful, full-of grace and open handed step-mother!! I choose it TODAY. I will put out my heart, weather it be loved in return or not be put aside, and I will love my step son, my husband, my sons bio-mom and step-dad. That's the kind of mom I want to be. That is the kind of family I want to have.
Although I am not a birth mom, I understand that mothers routinely face this tough choice- because although kids are amazing they are still fallen and know not how to love the way we want to be loved, they have to learn it and we have to teach it. How can we teach what we do not ourselves know?
I fail in love all the time. I usually choose to love people that are easy to love, I have never really been forced in any other direction. I love best the people I relate to most, and they tend to like me pretty well! But here I am, a step-mom for one year...and O the difficulties I never expected! It doesn't always feel good. Sometimes it feels so bad I can hardly put down my hurt feelings, my tears - sometimes I can't see through them at all. O how my God has ministered to my heart in those moments. He choose me when I didn't care one lick about Him, now I must choose His Life and press on and give thanks and be a real mom.
Today I choose and give thanks for these truths:
...I experience great joy from my sons laughter
...My husband loves me and is a good father
...I do not have to be angry over things done in the past, out of my control
...I can do the things that I want to in order to be the mom I want to be!
...I really can feel like a mom because I really am one
...Motherhood is so much giving, less receiving, but always receiving from Him
...Every moment counts- every positive loving moment builds on the last for my son
...I choose to make the most of the moments given by God
...He made me for this job!
You know what makes it possible? Worshiping God. There's no other way to be full enough to give what is required. There is no other way to know how to Love and find the courage to do it. I keep trying to read about how step-moms can be successful, I'm looking for solutions to the pain and problems I experience daily...But the only real help comes from my Father of grace who renews me day to day to day to day...O how I need Him!
Today I'm choosing to worship Him, so blessed by His love for me...
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